Having suffered for the last three years, I have this opportunity to write to you. There is a little hope from my end that you will read it on the day when depression rears its ugly head to you. When the clouds of depression strike and cover you in a deep dark pit, our brain has a very funny way to forget everything good and awesome about us. Well, this letter is here to remind you of all the things that you may forget.
Depression engulfs your inner bright lights and spreads the clouds of darkness, sadness all over. You will feel nothing, yet feel everything. You might feel that you won’t stop the feeling and dark clouds will last longer. But trust me, the clouds will go! Till then try seeing it through and you will see the better, warrior version of yourself ready to battle anything out.
This deep dark pit always might make you lose your appetite, and the less you eat, the less energy you have to fight the monster. I promise it will make a difference, just know that depression covers up your hunger, but your body still knows you have not eaten and even more, fatigue will set in. I would advise you, trust your inner voice, and not your outlined feelings, they are very unreliable.
Suddenly, you would feel like your mind is reminding you of all the flaws, it will even magnify them until you are sitting ideally with those flaws. But you are so much more than flaws. You are amazing, brave, courageous, you just don’t know it yet. I promise the fog shall pass, keep going, plod on, head down. You can do it. I promise you can.
You would even lack self-esteem. The bloody depression might wrap a chain around you, but always remember you have the key. I better understand that you have no energy, no oomph, no motivation. But please do not sit down and think through the low self-esteem chained to your mind. This toxic beast will make you think about being alone and hide in the bed, but don’t. Keep yourself busy, it will just help. Try pursuing something you love or just listen to some music.
Seek help, tell someone how you feel. Don’t feel shame about being trapped. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Ask for a hug, tell someone to send you the good vibes. Seek strength. Always remember, you aren’t alone. Don’t battle a bad day alone. Share your thoughts. You will feel the uttermost amazing strength by breaking the silence. I would say, never suffer in silence, never.
I know as you read this letter, tears might come rolling down and you will be having a gush of overwhelming feeling. The dark pit depression will shake you to the core, but you are strong enough to send it away time and time again. I still suffer at the end of this monster sometimes and I just don’t know when it will be completely gone. But I do know that I have held on for this long, and have successfully kicked its butt more than it has gripped my life, and I am proud of all the battles I have won in my life.
On the days when you are tired of fighting, read this letter and remember there is a girl behind this letter who was at the stake of the journey and completely lost in the deep dark pit just like you who have battled and emerged courageous. There is a light, I have found it and you too will find it deep within you. You are loved, you are wanted, you are worthwhile, and you are more than a conqueror, you are a true WARRIOR!