Unapologetic and fearless of prejudiced opinions and judgments, I share my mental health journey with a ray of hope that it will help people not TREAT but make this journey EASIER. Yes! You heard it right, EASIER.
It started in the year 2016 when I reached a stage of hopelessness, constant suffocation, an unexplained feeling of drowning, emptiness and unanticipated I was approached by a counselor of my Institute whom I had never met or even heard about, He supposedly had been keeping an eye on me since quite some days and asked me to visit him soon. Aware of my emotions and how it was molding me into this different person who would always be on the extreme edges of anger, laughter, and sadness (Sounds familiar?) went ahead.
Every time I smiled or laughed, would be instantly found sinking deep in the world of darkness and despair in the very next moment. I would feel suicidal at every step of the way ( even the silliest ones) I felt disappointed, lost interest in the things I loved doing, gave up music, reading and paranoid of what was happening to me and how I was losing myself made me more depressed, Felt like never to wake up again!
With REALISATION, I apparently met this psychologist and spoke to him for about 2-3 hours (counseling session was extended… He did it specifically for me without asking for it) how did it go? Like any other, a clinically depressed person would feel… What am I doing here? What have I gotten myself into? Seriously I am talking here and venting out for hours for only him to not get it at all! I was outraged. He was calm and smiling & I was furious of him for not being even empathetic towards me. But this one session led to another and another and one day I found myself to be his patient. But I was in DENIAL! As one of my symptoms I pushed him away, I would contact him only as per my convenience just to vent out and not even listen to him. I came across another professional and it happened over again.
But over years I went through phases of popping pills and panic attacks & anxiety attacks in a phase of Agony and Mental suffering. Then finally, when I revisited my journey I came to terms with what I really was dealing with. It was time for ACKNOWLEDGEMENT & came the unforeseen solace and liberation from the throbbing emotional wrecks. Yes, mere acknowledgment and final ACCEPTANCE, made my sufferings easier alleviating its effect on my mental state.
Eventually, making me courageous and strong enough to seek help and guidance recovering and today I proudly and openly talk about my mental health, helping my friends and people around to ease their path & deal with their troubles. I know what you might be thinking; doing therapies or engaging in some creative or interesting works didn’t help me? Apparently, that’s what everyone is advised to do. SO the answer is NO! it didn’t help until I was ready to acknowledge, accept what I was going through. Unaware of your conditions or denial of the state you are in just makes it worse and nullifies the effect of therapies that you are supposed to benefit from!
It’s high time we normalize depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and other mental health issues and give it due consideration and importance to aid treatments and extend help in recovery.
Coming from personal experience, SELF – LOVE is the ultimate destination of this journey! Own who you are. Be unapologetic and fearless. Do not let anyone make you feel Vulnerable or designate with their negative judgments, remember it’s you who is the sole savior and support! Love yourself, your happiness and content are what all matters!
As the semicolon project indicates, Living life is all about coming across a situation where you could have put an end to it, but you chose not to! Your story isn’t over.
Written by Sports Nutritionist, CDE, Bariatric & Onco Nutritionist Sneha Shukla (Views Are Personal)